I used to be a christian and believe in heavan and hell and all that other crap, until I realized that I only believed it because I wanted to, so very badly. My grandfather had died when I was little, and I wanted to think "he's up in heaven". I read about diseases in school and wanted to believe that if I died, I would live on forever as an angel. I watched a murderer get away with it on the news, and thought, "He'll be in hell when he dies" making everything OK. I wasn't influenced by anyone. I never watched public television, or the learning channel. I never even saw M-TV. I just got to the age where I started reading the bible. I sat down, read for about an hour, and started thinking. The entire thing struck me as ridiculous, but it had to be true, right? Because if not, when we die, we die! That's the point where I stopped and went "oh".