Live, from sunny Elsewhere In Canada, it's "Moral of the Story"! In today's edition, we'll be tackling two loose threads that fell through the cracks: assigning prizes for "Applied Physics," and seeking the moral of "Dead Man Sliding."

• dellyone wins five more hours of sleep!
• Slider_Quinn21 wins the hot new CD single of Diana Krall, Diana Ross, and Diana DeGette (D-Colorado) performing Paul Anka's "Diana"!
• Brand_S wins gloves, for handling Tembi Locke in any way he chooses!
• Recall317 wins a gift cerificate good for $200 of logic and continuity at The Gap!
• ThomasMalthus wins Mallory's straw headdress from "Eye of the Storm"!
• EustiSlider wins a Sony remote that's unintentionally compatible with both Mac Performas and Fembots!
• FogBoy wins the right to destroy a name of his choice!
• Vigeant wins "Guitars for Crash Test Dummies," the introductory manual for readers who have no eyes, brains or internal organs of any kind!
• sliderules wins "Last Days" Bennish's new atom bomb, "Frat Boy"!

And the GOLD STAR OF SUCCINCTFUL CORRECTITUDE goes to Stax_!

Now, to the "Stoker" roll call:

• TemporalFlux wins Exploitation Theatre's "Blackula," "Blackenstein," and "The Blunchblack of Blotre Blame"!
• MissingSliderRyan wins Harlan Ellison's "Objects of Desire in the Mirror are Closer Than They Appear"!
• ThomasMalthus wins the nun outfit Rickman made Maggie wear! (Trust me, it's best NOT to ask...)
• The_Seer wins two tickets to BT in concert!
• kingofthecold wins Janis Joplin's "Jopplin' to the Oldies," Volumes I, II and IV!
• Recall317 wins a penguin puppet with Hex Vision!
• Slider_Quinn21 wins the tape of "Sole Survivors" that a friend recorded for me while my VCR was broken! It consists of an hour of static, for reasons that neither of us was ever able to discern. Like I said, the ep is cursed or something.
• stuslide wins the guitar pick SL4ever didn't want a few games back!
• sliderules wins everything he needs to know about the deceptively simple, yet addictive and fiercely competitive sport of cheese racing! [http://www.cheeseracing.org/]

And the GOLD STAR OF NEVER HAVING WON A GOLD STAR BEFORE goes to...

[Callie21V gasps in delight... only for Blinker to affix the star to the object she brought in for "Stoker."]

BLINKER: ...this inanimate carbon rod!

CALLIE21V: >:-#!!!!!

-- "DEAD MAN SLIDING" --

BLINKER: I learned that even the best episodes suffered from missed opportunities. I mean, they've got Ed Wasser playing the guard outside the Judgment Game taping -- why couldn't he greet the Sliders by asking "What do you want?"

SYNTHIA: Huh? Okay, my moral is that the laws of gravity and momentum are trifles that are not to be concerned with by TV scripts. Here's an experiment, kids: go home, jump off the nearest cliff, somehow aim the timer straight down and open a vortex IN MID-DROP, extend your freefall by a kilometer or so by way of one of the longest wormhole interior shots in the show's history, and see if YOU come out the other side at a leisurely speed of what might be considered 20 knots BY A TOY BOAT IN A BATHTUB!

STUSLIDE: Uh... yeah, I'll--

SYNTHIA: Oh, and do it without vomiting.

BLINKER: Okay, people, let's hear it! What did YOU learn???

- Blinker 7:-/
http://slidersweb.net/blinker

BART: Dad, I'm really sorry, but I charged $350 on your credit card.
HOMER: What?!
BART: Don't worry, here's the cash!
HOMER: Woo Hoo! $350. Now I can buy 70 transcripts of "Nightline"!