SYNTHIA: So, how goes the tallying?

BLINKER: Almost ready. Let's see, count an eighth-place vote for the SG archive... then there's a fourth-place vote for the caption gallery... all right, the ratings are complete! [signs off on official "What Should Blinker Do Next?" score sheet, licks envelope and seals the results inside]

SYNTHIA: How'd you handle it?

BLINKER: Oh, I did the same as SL... just averaged out everyone's replies. [tears open the envelope he just sealed a moment ago] And the undisputed winner... with nothing but first-place finishes... is... a... tie...?

SYNTHIA: A tie?!

BLINKER: "Me, of course," and "BJ and the Bear 2002."

SYNTHIA: I think your scoring system needs work.

MALLORY: Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I've heard *that* one.

BLINKER: Well, I guess I'll do some Earth 69 next. In the meantime, let's dig into the most despised episode of the entire third season! 7:-P

=== PREVIOUS PARTICIPANT PRIZE PARTY ===

• SL4ever wins an "Episodes in Rear View Mirror Are Crappier Than They Appear" bumper sticker!
• TemporalFlux wins a syndication contract to draw "The Freshmaker"!
• ShatnerTurbo2000 wins the tape of "Sole Survivors" I finally made after four long years of missing it EVERY time it came on! (I'm really starting to wonder if the ep is cursed or something. 7:-O)
• IncredibleHK wins a contestant spot on Bob Barkido-San's "The Price Soo Desu!"
• Slider_Quinn21 wins a coffee table!
• MissingSliderRyan wins "Sliders: Captioned That!," a coffee table book collecting the best moments of everyone's favourite online humour game! Endorsed by Cannibals Anonymous chapters everywhere!
• Robin14334 wins a pen! There, now you won't have to use your own intestines if things get dicey!
• The_Seer wins a boxed VHS set of "Cry Babies," Rembrandt's best-forgotten 1980s Saturday morning cartoon!
• Recall317 wins a boxed VHS set of "Ho Hos," Maggie's best-forgotten 1980s Saturday morning cartoon!
• Joey_Starr wins the script outtake from "Somers of Love" that explained how Chrissy's unnatural pep was powered by the Helix cycle!
• Vigeant wins Chase Masterson in David Peckinpah's "Machine Gun Kelly Welles"!
• sliderseth wins Brad Linaweaver's "Survivor: The Episodes In The First Season" guide, which peters out around episode six and ends with "Anyway, Rich ended up becoming... affluent!"
• ThomasMalthus wins claimdude's Ronco Home Tattoo Kit! [Not responsible for permanent scarring, disfigurement, death, or that icky smell.]

And out of a vast field of deserving candidates, the gold star goes to... Alternity_Orange! His short, hilarious reply just hit me like a tonne of gold bricks to the stomach. 7:-D

=== MORAL OF THE STORY: THE BREEDER ===

BLINKER: Well, wasn't *this* a fascinating entry. Okay, I learned what all reputable pseudo-scientists have suspected for years: it isn't wings, feathers or bone structure that enables birds to fly, but simply having worms in their stomachs. Maggie is living proof!

SYNTHIA: Woo Hoo!

BLINKER [satisfied]: I'm glad you approve.

SYNTHIA: Oh, sorry. I thought your last sentence said "Living Prof." Now THAT would've made this crapfest worth watching.

BLINKER [turning to camera]: More on that next time, folks.

SYNTHIA: Anyway, my lesson from "The Breeder" appears courtesy of Wade's way with words. Apparently, Quinn's fondness towards Maggie consists of a "thing" for her.

BLINKER: And you thought "The Guardian" was the only appearance of "Little Quinn"... What?

- Blinker 7:-P
http://slidersweb.net/blinker

Marge: It would mean so much to me if we could have just one nice family photo.
[shot of family photo with cross-eyed Bart]
[shot of family photo with Bart wearing a mustache]
[shot of family photo with an "I stink!" speech balloon sticker next to Homer]
Homer: Hey, I don't remember saying that!