The True Confessions of Brand_S

Dominion War

One day somewhere between 1999 and 2000 I received a none-too-kind e-mail from hakavonn. Basically, s/he went on for a very long time about how terrible a person I am because of the way I choose to talk, that is, the relatively large amounts of swearing that I use.

I've taken 18 college classes so far. Out of all of them, I've only gotten anything below a 4.0 three times. Once, a 3.6; the other two times, a 3.9. I worked for a full college year as a math tutor because my strong math skills impressed people, not to mention the English tutoring I did for free (or my concurrent part-time job). My current plan is to double major in math and Japanese... although I've demonstrated strengths in political science, programming, world history, psychology, English composition, and philosophy. I've also expressed interest in theology, linguistics, music theory, and international business. I've studied Japanese for 4 years (including one on my own time), and I am currently translating a Japanese video game in my spare time. I'm also capable of playing two instruments. AND I read classical literature for fun.

And yet people decry swearing, saying it shows a patent lack of intelligence.

To that I say, "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on."

I talk the way I do because I CHOOSE to. I swear because I like having those words integrated into my vocabulary. I can prove that I'm no idiot (as much as I would like to have more friends than I do now, get laid, and smoke weed). If you have to waste my time telling me I'm stupid because I use words like "fuck," "shit," "ass," and "bitch," then go hit the books and let me do my own thing, motherfucker.

But for the sake of politeness, I watched my language? Why did I stop? Why, I needed to use them again for the sake of dramatic effect. Where would I do such a thing?

The Dominion War.

If you ever wonder why MSR has made one of the most hugely interconnected pieces of fiction I have ever seen, why SpaceTime has developed an admittedly self-indulgent style involving applying the TYPING and the LOVIN to create the Fanfic of the GODS, why HunterD_Raven even bothered starting Stoker2k, a fanfic he will NEVER finish, I provided the catalyst that started all of this...

The Dominion War.

If you wonder why I take it so personally that I get so few responses to my writings, why I'm popular at all here, or why anyone ever thought I was on par with TemporalFlux, again...

The Dominion War.

I remembered HunterD_Raven's pitch for a story that he called "S5L vs S5H," to wit, people who like "Sliders" season 5, versus those who do not. I would end up dubbing the former, L-People (for "love/like"). The latter, H-People (for "hate"). I thought HunterD_Raven's idea was an interesting one, so just for fun I decided to whip up a story based on it.

But my favorite kinds of stories are the interconnected ones: "Pulp Fiction," "The Usual Suspects," "The Stand," "X-Men 2099," "Seinfeld," "Live A Live," and especially "Les Misérables." The more characters doing the more seemingly unrelated things that have indirect effects on each other that end up tying the story together into one huge shocker, the better. It's like a pool shot that sinks half the table right away. Poetry in motion. Seemingly small actions making a huge one. It's incredible to watch, even more incredible (and unfortunately, rare in the extreme) to pull off. My dream in life is to write a story that adheres so strongly to this that up until the end even the plot and dramatis personae are completely fluid and constantly changing.

I wanted "The Dominion War" to be the next "Pulp Fiction," at least in its own limited scope. This meant extensive planning. I had every part of the story planned out in advance. (The original plan was for 12 parts, with Executive's death bisecting it, but I reduced it to 10 because I was afraid I couldn't keep up the speed.) But what I really wanted was approval. The more of my blood, sweat, and tears I poured into this story, the more afraid I became of rejection. I did not think this pithy 10-parter was any good. After all, I wasn't really thinking about what I was doing. I just started writing and let my mind finish it for me. Yeontoo was my main beta reader, and her reassurance was constant, because she knew that was the only way I'd find it in me to post it (so you all can give Yeontoo credit for it being posted in the first place). So, on her urging, I posted the story. I mentioned to her how afraid I was that it would be "ill-received." I didn't want rejection. I wanted approval.

Oh, I got approval.

I've never had so many replies to anything. Hell, other than the debates and petitions and flame wars and crap like that, I'd never seen so many replies to anything here. It was really amazing. I also became established as the Dominion War's #1 humorist. In my opinion, this was a blessing and a curse. I mean, it's always great to know that someone thinks you're good at something like making them laugh. But at the same time, I was typecast, and in addition, even now when I talk to someone, there's an implication that I keep them humorously entertained from start to finish. That's a big part of why I'm so terrible about e-mailing people.

I liked the Dominion War. It's a pretty funny story. But let's be honest... The only reason it was so popular was because all the people there wanted to see themselves in the story and the way they acted. I still can't believe I was able to maintain consistency in the intelligence, character, and punctuation minutiae of so many characters. I just remembered TemporalFlux's penchant for *asterisk emphasis* and invariably spelling "alot" instead of "a lot." SpaceTime's anality regarding spelling was easy to duplicate; I'm the same way. Fish_Bone always uses "you're" instead of "your," Yeontoo says "Sur" instead of "Sir," the Huneter has a fetetish for the lettere e, and so on...

Moreover, although the only reason my story was so popular was because those motherfuckers only liked me for my ability to glorify them, my popularity did skyrocket nonetheless. After all, I was the first person here to write with impunity about my friends and my enemies alike living AND dying in a piece of fiction. To paraphrase Stoker_chick, I redefined what "fan fiction" is! I mean, it inspired hundreds of different projects here: the Legion of Booze, B vs. E, Stoker2k, Group X, BBoard Sliding Adventures, the Fucka series, and Boardnapped, to name a few.

ˇ Missing Slider Ryan
Out of all the people here, I probably owe her more than anybody else. She continues to read my stuff, and when she posts something, I keep saying to myself that I'm going to read it, but by the time I have time to do it, it's buried and I can't find it. I'm just glad she's nice and magnanimous enough not to mind too much (read: MSR, please, DON'T KILL ME!).

It's just too bad I was never able to pull that shit off again.